The Thanksgiving holiday is over – but now we have Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s on the horizon.
Typically, that means parties (professional and personal) – which, in turn, means more opportunities for creating conversations.
For some of us, it is an easy task -- we like small talk, meeting new people and socializing in general. But, for others it is a chore.
It doesn’t have to be …
What are some techniques to make mingling and conversation easy and enjoyable for all parties concerned?
Here’s my list of seven strategies:
1. Whenever possible, do your “homework.” Know who is coming, and a little bit about the people. What are their interests? Where do they work? What do they do in their free time?
2. Ask questions – not to be intrusive, but to find areas of mutual interest. Be interested in what they have to say.
3.Share something about yourself – not to brag, but again, something that the others may find interesting.
4. Be comfortable with silence. You don’t need to rush the conversation.
5. Be up to date with current events and best-selling books – they make great conversation starters.
6. Look for ways to help others. That may mean introducing them to other people at the event.
7. Know when to exit the conversation. Avoid monopolizing one person for the whole event.
If you follow these seven guidelines, you not only will have great conversations and build relationships, but, perhaps more importantly, a great time!
Showing posts with label small talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label small talk. Show all posts
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Meet & Greet Others With Poise & Purpose
Earlier this year, I blogged about various strategies for networking success. But what about the art of introductions?
As I’m back from attending a National Speakers Association conference, this topic is fresh on my radar, as I met many colleagues who I haven’t seen in awhile – and whose names didn’t jump to mind -- and dozens of new people, too.
Sure, life would be much easier if everyone walked around with name badges all the time – eliminating the need to be introduced. But, that sure isn’t going to happen!
So, professionals need to master the fine art of introducing themselves and others. There are certain protocols to follow when making introductions in a business or work-related setting.
How to Introduce Others
When you’re standing with other people and are not introduced, how do you feel? Probably awkward. Some professionals who are in this situation don’t feel confident or assertive enough to introduce themselves to people they haven’t met.
Here’s where you can demonstrate your professional polish and make others feel comfortable. The proper introduction involves three steps. You always start and end by mentioning the person you want to honor.
•First mention the name of the person of greatest authority or importance. Gender or age is not the deciding factor. When a client is involved, he or she should be mentioned first.
•The second step includes saying something about the person you’re introducing to the key person and his or her full name.
•To complete the introduction, go back to the person of highest rank (customer, etc.) , state his or her full name, and say something about him or her.
This is an example of a proper business introduction – combined with all three elements: “Bill Smith, I want you to meet Pam Holland, who is our Chief Operating Officer. Pam, Bill is the Training Director at ABC Corporation, our valued client”
Here are two other pointers to remember when making an introduction or being introduced:
•It is appropriate to stand whenever possible, regardless of gender, if you are seated, before making an introduction or when you are being introduced.
•If no one is available to introduce you -- or when the person you are with forgets to do so, it is always good manners to introduce yourself.
Always have self-introduction ready to use. This should be brief, informative and memorable -- a bit like a 10-second commercial. For example: "Hello, I'm Marjorie Brody. I work with people to improve their professional impact.” This type of introduction will almost always encourage the other person to ask something like, “How do you do that?” promoting further dialogue.
In a small group setting, what should you do if you forget the name of someone you need to introduce to another person? The clever way would be to introduce the person you already know. Say, “I don’t believe you’ve met Marjorie Brody, have you?” This will almost always result in the third person saying, “No. We’ve never met. My name is Frank Black” – or words to that effect. Or, at the very least, say something like, “My name is Marjorie Brody. I don’t believe we’ve met.”
If the person doesn’t offer his or her name, you can say, “And your name is …?” or “And you are … ?”
If, however, there is no other person, and it’s just a one-on-one encounter, just say your name. Don’t assume everyone remembers you – most likely, the other person will then give his or her name, too. If not, then use some humor or admit your lack of memory by saying something like, “I’m having a senior moment. You are….?” Or, “I have totally blanked on your name – please help me!”
Oops! Now What?
What are some mistakes to avoid when making introductions or being introduced?
•Mispronouncing someone’s name
•Getting person’s title or company name wrong
•Speaking so fast that no one understands you or hears the information you’re saying
•Forgetting to shake hands or having a weak handshake
•Not making effective eye contact
•Only talking about yourself and your achievements
I once witnessed the following exchange: A manager introduced one of his employees to a client with whom he was meeting. The employee’s name was unusual. After introducing the employee with the unusual name, the manager said, “Can you believe that any mother would name a child that?” It’s important to remember that what is an unusual name for you may be perfectly normal elsewhere – and it’s poor etiquette to mention any observed differences anyway.
Meeting and greeting doesn’t have to be something you dread. If you prepare yourself and remember the advice here you’ll be a confident networking pro!
As I’m back from attending a National Speakers Association conference, this topic is fresh on my radar, as I met many colleagues who I haven’t seen in awhile – and whose names didn’t jump to mind -- and dozens of new people, too.
Sure, life would be much easier if everyone walked around with name badges all the time – eliminating the need to be introduced. But, that sure isn’t going to happen!
So, professionals need to master the fine art of introducing themselves and others. There are certain protocols to follow when making introductions in a business or work-related setting.
How to Introduce Others
When you’re standing with other people and are not introduced, how do you feel? Probably awkward. Some professionals who are in this situation don’t feel confident or assertive enough to introduce themselves to people they haven’t met.
Here’s where you can demonstrate your professional polish and make others feel comfortable. The proper introduction involves three steps. You always start and end by mentioning the person you want to honor.
•First mention the name of the person of greatest authority or importance. Gender or age is not the deciding factor. When a client is involved, he or she should be mentioned first.
•The second step includes saying something about the person you’re introducing to the key person and his or her full name.
•To complete the introduction, go back to the person of highest rank (customer, etc.) , state his or her full name, and say something about him or her.
This is an example of a proper business introduction – combined with all three elements: “Bill Smith, I want you to meet Pam Holland, who is our Chief Operating Officer. Pam, Bill is the Training Director at ABC Corporation, our valued client”
Here are two other pointers to remember when making an introduction or being introduced:
•It is appropriate to stand whenever possible, regardless of gender, if you are seated, before making an introduction or when you are being introduced.
•If no one is available to introduce you -- or when the person you are with forgets to do so, it is always good manners to introduce yourself.
Always have self-introduction ready to use. This should be brief, informative and memorable -- a bit like a 10-second commercial. For example: "Hello, I'm Marjorie Brody. I work with people to improve their professional impact.” This type of introduction will almost always encourage the other person to ask something like, “How do you do that?” promoting further dialogue.
In a small group setting, what should you do if you forget the name of someone you need to introduce to another person? The clever way would be to introduce the person you already know. Say, “I don’t believe you’ve met Marjorie Brody, have you?” This will almost always result in the third person saying, “No. We’ve never met. My name is Frank Black” – or words to that effect. Or, at the very least, say something like, “My name is Marjorie Brody. I don’t believe we’ve met.”
If the person doesn’t offer his or her name, you can say, “And your name is …?” or “And you are … ?”
If, however, there is no other person, and it’s just a one-on-one encounter, just say your name. Don’t assume everyone remembers you – most likely, the other person will then give his or her name, too. If not, then use some humor or admit your lack of memory by saying something like, “I’m having a senior moment. You are….?” Or, “I have totally blanked on your name – please help me!”
Oops! Now What?
What are some mistakes to avoid when making introductions or being introduced?
•Mispronouncing someone’s name
•Getting person’s title or company name wrong
•Speaking so fast that no one understands you or hears the information you’re saying
•Forgetting to shake hands or having a weak handshake
•Not making effective eye contact
•Only talking about yourself and your achievements
I once witnessed the following exchange: A manager introduced one of his employees to a client with whom he was meeting. The employee’s name was unusual. After introducing the employee with the unusual name, the manager said, “Can you believe that any mother would name a child that?” It’s important to remember that what is an unusual name for you may be perfectly normal elsewhere – and it’s poor etiquette to mention any observed differences anyway.
Meeting and greeting doesn’t have to be something you dread. If you prepare yourself and remember the advice here you’ll be a confident networking pro!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Work a Room With Confidence
Last week I discussed how to effectively use your business card as a networking tool.
But, what if you are unsure about initiating conversations?
“Working a room” or “schmoozing” can be intimidating for many people.
“Working a room” doesn’t mean flitting from person to person, pumping hands, and aggressively handing out your business card.
It also doesn’t mean scanning the room for bigger and better opportunities when you are already in the middle of a conversation.
It simply means being alert for networking opportunities. It means keeping your eyes--and your mind -- open.
Take advantage of any offers to introduce you to people you don’t know. If you don’t receive such offers, or if there is a particular person or group of people you would like to meet, it is perfectly appropriate to ask the host for an introduction or introduce yourself.
What if you walk into a party or event and find that you don’t know anyone? First, don’t panic.
You basically have four options:
•Find the farthest out-of-the-way corner and hide there for the duration of the event. This practically guarantees you a miserable time, and no contacts.
•Stand there and hope someone comes up to you. Of course, if you choose this option, chances are you will find yourself standing alone and feeling awkward for quite a while.
•Find someone else who is alone, approach that person with a friendly smile, and introduce yourself. This is an effective strategy.
•Or, in a large group, approach a person that is in a gathering of three or more people. Two people might be engrossed in a real conversation and wouldn’t want to be disrupted.
Initiating a conversation can be relatively simple and painless -- if you prepare ahead.
Have your professional handshake and 10 second self-introduction ready. Look the person in the eye, and use one of these suggestions for opening lines: make an upbeat observation, share a pleasant self-revelation, or ask an open-ended question.
If you want to move from contact to connection, make sure you exchange business cards. Later, when you return to your home or office, note right on the card where you met the person and any pertinent information you recall about him or her.
You shouldn’t worry if your networking attempts don’t meet with success every time.
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we are going to run into people we genuinely dislike or don’t wish to see again. When this happens, the best thing to do is to cut the conversation short in a polite but firm way.
“Sorry. Gotta run” won’t cut it.
Instead, try, “It was nice meeting you, but I must be going now” or “Let me introduce you to …” or, “I promised ___ that I would talk to him ...” -- all perfectly acceptable ways to bow out.
No matter how you feel about the person, don’t forget to smile and say goodbye. Never “burn a bridge.”
Besides, the other person may be happy to make an exit, too!
But, what if you are unsure about initiating conversations?
“Working a room” or “schmoozing” can be intimidating for many people.
“Working a room” doesn’t mean flitting from person to person, pumping hands, and aggressively handing out your business card.
It also doesn’t mean scanning the room for bigger and better opportunities when you are already in the middle of a conversation.
It simply means being alert for networking opportunities. It means keeping your eyes--and your mind -- open.
Take advantage of any offers to introduce you to people you don’t know. If you don’t receive such offers, or if there is a particular person or group of people you would like to meet, it is perfectly appropriate to ask the host for an introduction or introduce yourself.
What if you walk into a party or event and find that you don’t know anyone? First, don’t panic.
You basically have four options:
•Find the farthest out-of-the-way corner and hide there for the duration of the event. This practically guarantees you a miserable time, and no contacts.
•Stand there and hope someone comes up to you. Of course, if you choose this option, chances are you will find yourself standing alone and feeling awkward for quite a while.
•Find someone else who is alone, approach that person with a friendly smile, and introduce yourself. This is an effective strategy.
•Or, in a large group, approach a person that is in a gathering of three or more people. Two people might be engrossed in a real conversation and wouldn’t want to be disrupted.
Initiating a conversation can be relatively simple and painless -- if you prepare ahead.
Have your professional handshake and 10 second self-introduction ready. Look the person in the eye, and use one of these suggestions for opening lines: make an upbeat observation, share a pleasant self-revelation, or ask an open-ended question.
If you want to move from contact to connection, make sure you exchange business cards. Later, when you return to your home or office, note right on the card where you met the person and any pertinent information you recall about him or her.
You shouldn’t worry if your networking attempts don’t meet with success every time.
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we are going to run into people we genuinely dislike or don’t wish to see again. When this happens, the best thing to do is to cut the conversation short in a polite but firm way.
“Sorry. Gotta run” won’t cut it.
Instead, try, “It was nice meeting you, but I must be going now” or “Let me introduce you to …” or, “I promised ___ that I would talk to him ...” -- all perfectly acceptable ways to bow out.
No matter how you feel about the person, don’t forget to smile and say goodbye. Never “burn a bridge.”
Besides, the other person may be happy to make an exit, too!
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